Hello everyone, I'm sorry I'm going to be boring and talk about school again.

School has been picking up speed and I'm just doing my best to keep up. I have not joined any student societies or anything because I haven't found anything I'm particularly interested in. I'm still really busy though! Beside all the prep work for tutorials and attending lectures and all I still tutor students 3 days a week after school. Tutoring is actually fulfilling for some rather selfish reasons. First of all I am being paid to have someone listen to me for 2 hours. Also, I get to pretend I know everything about whatever I am teaching them. I feel like the best part is howI the students and their parents think I'm this brilliant over-achieving person. I am only slightly exaggerating. Of course this is largely untrue but I do realise that being obsessive about things does give people the impression that I am more than competent at what I do. For example, I am the kind of teacher who makes sure a student every single detail of a concept before moving on to the next item on the agenda. By the time I'm done I can see them trying hard not to roll their eyes at me. Recently they've stopped trying though. Whatever.

I also realised that it is important not to underestimate the importance of being polite to people who pay youparents. But honestly, I think it's important to remember that while many parents are not up-to-date with the specifics of what is taught at school, they like to believe that they are. I feeel this desire to be on top of things is simultaneously a factor contributing to and a by-product of the ultra-competitive education system. But that is another discussion for another day. What I've come to realise is important is to explain to the parents what is going on at school in some detail, if only to assure them that I've taught their children what they need to know for school.

I am also doing some volunteer work at this organisation called Save Our Street Dogs (SOSD) You can check the organisation out here http://saveourstreetdogs.com/ to read about the excellent work they're doing. I'm currently part of this group called the 'Web writers'. We write articles about dogs that need new homes to get some publicity out and we also take turns contributing info about dogs, pet-care or anything in that field to put up on the organisation's Facebook page. And I've met( through Whatsapp group conversations) all these lovely people from all walks of life who all love dogs. :)

Despite all this going on in my life I feel so empty because I'm not part of some student society or group at school. Personally I feel this is because I suffer from Over Achiever Syndrome. I feel in some way aimless unless I am trying to achieve in some aspect of my life. Maybe it's because most of my peers from the schools I've attended before are similarly over-achieving and I've convinced myself that this is the status quo. So a lot of us sort of live in our own little worlds, attending our brand-name schools and outdoing ourselves and the people around us becasue that is the norm. I'm not being a snob here, I mean I guess it's good that we "meaningfully-occupied" and not doing drugs or somethingor maybe other people still take drugs I wouldn't know but I do feel I speak for a significant population when I say that in the process of a lot of taking part in the extra-curriculur stuff we lose sight of the fun of it and the main aim is to have another nice achievemtn under one's belt.

Which in part explains why I feel this emptiness. Because a part of my mind automatically assumes that because I am not neck-high in activity I am not using my time effectively.( Why do we need to use all our time effectively anyway?) That's why I'm sitting here thinking of how to change my mindset. In the mean time I shall try to enjoy this somewhat slower-paced lifestyle I have.

Recently I heard some rather unkind things that some people had said about me. Someone had said that I am brash in my words and actions. I know I really shouldn't feel like I need to explain myself, but I do.aforemtnioned person(s) is/are likely to read this. And I also know that It is true that I can be rather obsessive about some things and maybe this makes me critical on some level. But I would like to say that I have not said anything mean about a person that is not true. Also at least I was not so cowardly to talk about you behind your back like what you did and told you what I thought about you to your face. I'd also like to point out that if someone does something stupid in a public sphere and I merely point it out, I can't truly be the bad person.

I feel in some part aforementioned people have said such things because I am quite good at telling people off for the things that they do in a concise way and without swearing at them. I have come to realise that this pisses people off because if I were to scream expletives at them unintelligibly I would be the one who looks silly, somewhat reducing their need to accept their mistake and guilt. OF course I'm not always right and sometimes I misunderstand the things people say and get worked up over nothing. I'm working on it and I would appreciate it if you tell me off in a similarly intelligent way as I would you. Because then, even though I'd be annoyed at you pointing out my flaw, the annoyance would be someone mitigated by my udnerstanding of you as intelligent, honest person. As oppposed to a gossip-mongering teenager.

But really people I am not a brash person most of the time. I buy tissue from the elderly uncle even when I don't need it despite how I sometimes think he's overcharging everyone. I remind myself to look service staff in the eye when I thank them, I go out of my way to help friends who are in trouble. But most of all I'm not a coward who talks about others behind their backs or stupid enough to let whatever I said about them get back to them.

Okay, I have rambled on for about 45 minutes and I am tired. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

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