A few recent events made me think about the human body and how weak it is.

A recent passing made me realise how the human body can be shattered, go from a whole to fragments within a matter of seconds. How the blood that runs in our bodies and once kept us alive will in the end, be a reminder of the fragility of the skin that once contained it. I realised how we can spend so long getting to know someone while they're on one side of death before spending the rest of your life figuring out who they could have been in this life, when they've reached the other side of death.

I also recently met someone with a very rare muscular disorder. When she is excited or stressed the muscles around her bones loosen and that part of the body becomes paralysed for days at a time. This is of course an excruciatingly painful experience. How miserable it must be to feel so much pain every time you are happy about something. I don't know how one could live with such an unfair affliction.

What these events made me realise is how the body is so weak, so vulnerable so malleable and quickly destroyed, in ways we cannot control and sometimes cannot comprehend.  This understanding made me a little depressed to be honest. Because when you are twenty years old you think you are invincible. When your greatest physical ailment is fatigue and your skin is still taut and smooth, your body tricks you into believing it is strong.

So now when I look at the veins on my wrist I don't dare to believe they are real. I see life flowing through my body when I know it could so easily be destroyed. I pinch the skin around the veins, taunting my body. But when nothing happens, I feel like I've just cheated death one more time. Coming to terms with the reality of our mortality is something I don't fully understand yet. But I do realise that every moment blood is still running through your veins is your body surviving in spite of everything that could go wrong. And that is a miracle.

PAST • FUTURE