This is the middle of week 12 of the 2nd semester of the academic year.


This semester is proving to be most tiring only now. I honestly thought I would have things planned out more by this time. This time last year I was an ambitious freshman who'd secured a summer internship. This year I don't have anything planned that I believe will help my resume. After I come back from the Spain trip, I am hoping to sit down and work on the collection of writings that I've been slowly putting together. But I honestly have so much anxiety now. I am wondering if I will ever finish my collection and even then will it be good enough to be published? Will my hopes and plans for the Yale-NUS and NUS collaborations come to fruition? One of my greatest fears is mediocrity, a close second to that is the fear that I would have wasted time and energy and end up achieving nothing out of it. I am honestly at a point in my life when I feel like I have to move to action and try new things but I don't know if I have what it takes to be that kind of person. I honestly feel weak and small. Even if I go through with my plans, will it matter? Would I truly have made a difference? Maybe I'm just tired.

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