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Liminal Space
Sunday, April 19, 2015 • 7:51 PM
I'm currently in a liminal space between school and
summer. The semester and all the coursework is over, proofread and submitted. I
do have one final exam left--in two weeks before it's officially Summer. But
I'm starting work tomorrow.
My summer job (which is another kind of liminal
space between school and the holidays) is to be a salesgirl at a shop selling
accessories. It pays decently and has flexible hours so I'm good with that.
Many of my friends are taking on internships this summer, but I already did one
last year and I just wanna do something a little bit more relaxing this time.
I'm also going to be travelling and working on
moving my blog to a new website this summer so I think I'll be plenty occupied
anyways. I now also have time to write more on this space so that is
really exciting. I've been trying to be a more disciplined writer, by writing something
every day. I've been mostly successful so far-- until the last week that is. I
mean I've been doing plenty of school-related critical writing so I guess that
must count for something right? But the point is that I will post more.
Have a great week ahead everyone!
Please take a moment to breathe before going back to being a producer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015 • 7:45 PM
This is the middle of week 12 of the 2nd semester of the academic year.
This semester is proving to be most tiring only now. I honestly thought I would have things planned out more by this time. This time last year I was an ambitious freshman who'd secured a summer internship. This year I don't have anything planned that I believe will help my resume. After I come back from the Spain trip, I am hoping to sit down and work on the collection of writings that I've been slowly putting together. But I honestly have so much anxiety now. I am wondering if I will ever finish my collection and even then will it be good enough to be published? Will my hopes and plans for the Yale-NUS and NUS collaborations come to fruition? One of my greatest fears is mediocrity, a close second to that is the fear that I would have wasted time and energy and end up achieving nothing out of it. I am honestly at a point in my life when I feel like I have to move to action and try new things but I don't know if I have what it takes to be that kind of person. I honestly feel weak and small. Even if I go through with my plans, will it matter? Would I truly have made a difference? Maybe I'm just tired. A modern "coming to know" story
Tuesday, March 24, 2015 • 8:36 PM
A modern "coming to know" story
A persistent awakeness of mine brought me
to know of his final sleep.
From
the dim glow of an iPhone screen, a photo from the Facebook profile of the
minister.
A few quick scrolls and the news reports
let me know that it was confirmed. It was 4.20a.m. What does it mean to know things in the twilight hour?
25 minutes pass. Nothing seems to have
changed. I am waiting for something to happen.
It is 4.45 a.m. I look out and from my bedroom window I see the
first train depart from the berth. It is
a new day.
Tributes in black and white will light up
all screens for the next 7 days.
But at 4.45. a.m, just that while before all the people
know, everything is as it always has been and always will be.
Personal/Relief
Sunday, March 15, 2015 • 9:25 PM
I’ve officially dropped out of the Conjunct
Consulting training and to be honest, I feel like I can breathe a little
easier. I met many really interesting and talented people during the training,
but I don’t think that I am ready or willing to commit the amount of time and
effort necessary to do a good job for Conjunct. And I don’t think that would be
fair to anyone. The good news is that I can focus more on the other things
going on in my life like BAR and Wallflowers (which I have almost completely
neglected thus far!!) and of course Symbal Mag stuff. One of my main goals is
to move to a dot-com domain soon. I have started designing it a bit and I’m
actually really excited about it. I also have more time to post regularly and
write more so I’m excited about that. Until my next post, I shall leave you
with some photos from the early morning photography QY and I dabbled with at
Chinese Gardens today.
     How do we treat children with special needs, their parents and teachers?
Tuesday, March 10, 2015 • 9:39 PM
Special Education has only in recent years become a term that people in Singapore are more comfortable with saying. Even then, in a city known for it's gleaming skyscrapers, anybody who deviates from mainstream society is often only mentioned in hushed whispers. This post is about children with special needs. But more than that, it's about the people who work with them every day--their parents and educators. Most of all, it's about why I think the prevailing attitude towards special education is hurting all stakeholders.
In recent times, my mother, sustained some injuries in an encounter with a student. This incident to me revealed several problems in the way that people view special needs students. How does one deal with such a situation? Should you reprimand the child? Should the child be counselled or punished? I think people are iffy on how to approach this because of the feelings associated with persons with special needs namely, shame, pity, discomfort and even fear. Here's what I think: I think that a child or person with special needs is handicapped in certain ways ( at least from the point of a neurotypical "normal" person. As a result, there is hesitation to treat such persons the way we might treat a "normal" child. But I think this is not only a disempowering method of teaching a child with special needs but also potentially a dangerous one. By not showing the child a clear consequence for his actions, you silently imply that you condone his actions. And when you do that, you teach the child that it is okay for him to misbehave because you do not expect better from him. Surely, you do not believe that this because if you do, it means that you have lost hope. And if that is the case what is the function of an institution dedicated to teaching such students? Have more faith in such persons. Secondly, I think when you are complicit in condoning violent behaviour from any child, you put the people who deal with him on a regular basis at serious risk. One day the little kid is going to grow up to be a strong man or woman and if you don't nip the problem in the bud now, do you really think you can discipline a grown man who is set in his ways? I also want to talk about the teachers who work with special needs children. Much emphasis has been placed on the welfare of the children themselves and their parents. But what about the teachers? It is true that a teacher must accept the risk of injury as an occupational hazard. But that is NOT an excuse for an institution to tolerate violence from its students nor is it a justification as to why injured staff are not given compensation in whatever form. Why is the welfare and safety of such professionals not a priority? Why are their stories not heard in news bulletins? I am not a hundred percent sure. But I think it has something to do with this. As long as society views disabled persons as lesser than us and therefore pitiable, we will always excuse their actions. This is because we don't want to experience the discomfort of understanding their conditions and their strengths. This is profoundly demeaning not only to the special needs' persons but also a disservice to the people who work with them daily to make their lives a little better. A lengthier explanation for my absence on this space.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015 • 6:32 PM
So to follow up from my previous post on why I haven't been writing much here, I thought I'd write another post because I have more time today.
This semester I decided to apply for Conjunct Consulting (CC). CC is a firm that does pro-bono consulting work for companies in the social sector. They train uni students like myself to do such consulting work. I was accepted into the training phase and what I'm working on now with my team mates is a simulation of a project I might work on in real life. It's pretty interesting and I feel challenged after each training session but I do think the analytical skills I'm picking up are important ones. Unfortunately, the programme is highly selective and it looks like only a fifth of the current trainees will pass this round. I am trying not to think too much about that part for now.
I have also mostly recently joined Burn After Reading (BAR) Singapore. It's basically a collective of young writers who meet monthly to critique each others' work and also help organise poetry-related events in Singapore. I didn't think I was going to make the cut when I went for the interview, if I'm being very honest. But I did, and I am surrounded by some very, very respectable company.
Besides that, I've been doing so much Lit Soc related stuff recently. Lots of fun baking but also Symbal magazine things have been keeping me busy almost always. But I am grateful for the sense of community I have from Lit Soc. :)
I guess with so much going on, I have had to manage my life very carefully. I mean school at NUS isn't going to get any less rigorous but good planning has kept me afloat so far.
My priorities have changed significantly along the course of the past few weeks, almost as if without my knowing. Spending time with my boyfriend and Cherry have become just as important to me finishing school work on time. I find that I try my best to make time to catch up with friends even though I am often lamenting how little time I have to do everything I want. I try to watch documentaries and movies online and attend talks and plays regularly now, even though I would have considered them fringe activities in the past. I schedule exercise into my life and try to eat better even when I'm in a rush.
What I'm trying to say is that I don't care about work--or anything work/school-relatedas much as I used to anymore. And it's the best thing I've done for myself. I am able to focus so much on the good things in my life now. My work is still important to me and I always try to do a good job. I've just stopped worrying about it as much. I think in a place like NUS it is almost impossible to divorce yourself from the culture of worrying about grades, mostly because that is the only way I had known in the first 12 years of my education. But my time in university has been a time of fruitful un-learning of all the bad habits of my growing up years. Of course, I am grateful for good friends who remind me of this when I start to forget. My point is the rat race, or more accurately, the CAP race is probably always going to be a big part of life at NUS. But my dreams are bigger than CAP 5.0 and a First Class Honours B.A. Degree. And I'm going to work hard to fight for the things that really matter to me.
Monday, February 23, 2015 • 11:55 PM
I've been away for quite a while because I've decided to take on some new activities this new semester in school and out. As a result, I'm very, very busy almost all the time. I think it's fair to say that I'm a disciplined person but even then, it's getting a little hard to breathe now. That's why I'm trying to take more time during Recess Week to breathe and take a break. But mostly sleep. I will still be writing and hopefully posting more on the blog soon though. Just writing to say that I'm still around haha. :)
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